I’ve been assigned as the sole protector of a shipment of Marie’s Corned Beef as it’s transported through space. The shipment is divided up into six cargo frigates, and I’ve gotta babysit all of them as they’re attacked by angry vegetarian space pirates. How long is this trip gonna take? I hope there’s a bathroom in this little interceptor I’m flying cause I need to go, really bad. It looks like there’s an extremely vulnerable battery attached to the outside of each frigate like a parasite with a target on its back. “Shoot me to easily blow up this ship” is essentially the broadcast I’m seeing as the pirates swoop in for the kill. Now I was fine just cruising along with my poorly-calibrated stability system, but now We’ve Got Beef.
761329: that’s the number of seconds I lasted. However that was my second try, because when the game first started I didn’t see the pirates spawning so I decided to shoot the batteries of all the ships and blow them up. I thought I was doing great, I was like “damn, this is easy!” but I was so wrong when the gameover screen came up. I realized I had been such a fool, I let down everyone, but more importantly, I let down Marie and her special corned beef. I had no idea where we were delivering this stuff, I wasn’t briefed, I wasn’t even taught how to fly this ship correctly, or maybe my controller was messed up. You only get a thruster, the ability to barrel-roll and a rapid fire laser. Take out those pirates but be careful not to shoot the batteries, they swarm close to it.
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